Parental Alienation and Divorce
Parental alienation occurs in divorce when a child develops an unreasonably strong dislike of one parent that makes an ongoing relationship or visitation with the rejected parent difficult if not impossible. Here’s how parental alienation impacts your children for years to come. By Judge Michele Lowrance As a domestic relations judge since 1995, I have watched the wreckage of the corrosive legacy of parental alienation and visitation interference play out over decades. We have no statistics for measuring this group because the victims are too vast. But the concentric circles include th...
How To Calculate Child Support
The more you and your spouse cooperate regarding the financial support and needs of your children, the better your children will do over time. While child support guidelines and laws do vary by jurisdictions, here are the basic elements that you need to consider in how to calculate the level of child support for your kids. By M. Marcy Jones Most states have child support guidelines based on a standard calculation. The numbers that go into the calculation include: Gross income of each parent Work-related child care costs Health insurance costs for the children Any extraordinary ...
4 Common Mistakes When Co-parenting with an Antagonistic Ex
Although there might be bumps along the road, most parents are able to put their children first and become successful co-parents post-divorce. Sometimes, however, one spouse can’t let go of the bitterness and anger caused by the failed marriage; consciously or unconsciously, the angry ex attempts to turn the children against the other parent. By Amy Baker (Ph.D.) and Paul Fine (LCSW) How you handle your emotions when your children are experiencing loyalty conflicts is important. Start by trying to avoid the following common mistakes when co-parenting with an antagonistic ex. 1. Giv...
8 Signs That Your Child Is Caught up in a Loyalty Conflict
If you’re co-parenting with an ex who engages in behaviors that induce loyalty conflicts, your child might become alienated and exhibit the eight behaviors described in this article. It’s important for you to develop a sense of the ways in which your ex may be turning your child against you, and the signs that your child is being affected. By Amy Baker (Ph.D.) and Paul Fine (LCSW) Some children who are exposed to behaviors that may induce loyalty conflict can maintain a relationship with both parents. Unfortunately, not all children are resistant to parental pressure. Some get caught...
The Essential Elements of Your Parenting Plan
Children go through many stages and phases growing up, and having a clear and thorough parenting plan can help keep you and your ex-spouse on the same page in terms of how to raise your children. Here are some of the most important elements to consider when putting together your parenting plan. By Carolyn Ellis When you get divorced and have children, you’ll be required to create a parenting plan which is a written document that spells out how you agree to parent your children. The parenting plan needs to be clear and practical and keep the best interests and needs of your children in ...
How to Prepare Yourself for the Divorce Process
The divorce process is complicated and you need to be prepared. It’s a mistake to think of divorce as a single event – you get divorced and you’re done. The truth is there are really Four Divorces happening all at the same time, and over a period of time. Knowing that you need to go through these Four Divorces will help you be better prepared in your own divorce process. By M. Marcy Jones Most people going through a divorce have certain expectations and end up surprised when things go off track. The reality is there is so much more involved in the divorce process than just the lega...
Top 10 Tips for Divorcing Parents from a Family Law Attorney
Divorce can be an emotionally complicated and trying time, especially when there are children involved. As a family law attorney, mediator and coach, the author has seen a lot of ways parents mistakenly end up hurting their children in the process. These tips will help you keep your focus on your children’s needs. By M. Marcy Jones Divorce is such a complicated process, and there is so much emotion that needs to be sorted through. Putting your children’s needs ahead of your own isn’t easy, and parents constantly have to check in with themselves to make sure they are doing so. Many ...
5 Tips for Dating after Divorce
Dating after divorce is something that can be both delightful and nerve-wracking. Here are some tips to ensure your success in finding new love again. By Carolyn Ellis Dating after divorce can make you feel like you’ve landed on an alien planet. Especially if you’ve been in a long-term marriage or relationship, getting back out on the dating scene can be quite bewildering. Having been through a separation or divorce, one thing you want to try to ensure is that history isn’t going to repeat itself! These five tips can help you get your dating experience off on the right foot: 1....
Stepfamily Dynamics
Stepfamilies are unique and individual – what works for one family may not work for another. Understanding the dynamics of your children and partner in the new constellation of your stepfamily helps create more harmony, trust and connection. By Jeffrey Cottrill Stepfamilies have unique and changing dynamics you need to respect and navigate along the way. "It's important not to diminish the biological, non-residential parent in any way," says Lillian Messinger, author of Remarriage: A Family Affair. "The children have a right to that parent's love." Ex-spouses will still be linked to ea...
The Challenges of Re-Marrying and Becoming a Stepparent
With two of three remarriages ending in divorce, it’s clearly challenging to successfully create a happy and lasting stepfamily. Preparation and good communication go a long way to helping you overcome the challenges of re-marriage, blending families and becoming a stepparent. By Jeffrey Cottrill Perhaps you're getting married to someone with children from a previous relationship, or else you have children and are getting remarried. Are you (or your new partner) ready for an instant stepfamily? To make it work, you need to let go of any preconceived notions you may have about stepfamil...